Shoes, Books & Cynicism
Kate Stone Matheson
The Wax That Melts Our Wings

I’d say it’s what separates us, not from the beasts, but the bestial. Creating the future, renewing a learned past - these are reasons to strive. Writing for and with love, taking and framing an image, stretching new melodic skins onto old skeletons of song… it’s how we manage to fly. It’s how we stay you and me, not us and them.

The Wax That Melts Our Wings
Shoes, Books & Cynicism
Kate Stone Matheson
The Lady Jellypants Guide to Grace and Poise

Unlike Osk, who seemed to establish his own tactical task force wherever we lived, scooping up neighbourhood feline troublemakers as sidekicks (including the memorable ginger behemoth Watson, with whom he used to scope the street from the safety of the shed roof), Jelly has the intelligence gathering skills of a sponge cake.

The Lady Jellypants Guide to Grace and Poise
Shoes, Books & Cynicism
Kate Stone Matheson
Love Me Tender

Anyway, somewhere in between my 'and then you should've done this' and 'why didn't you say x and y, rather than z', and 'for the love of monkeys and the general public's eyesight, you didn't honestly wear that heinous shirt did you', something he was saying about the dating extravaganza we were picking to pieces finally penetrated my cloud of self-congratulatory cumulo-waffle. 

"Most people don't talk about how dates are progressing as a tender process, do they?" he asked. 

"What?"

"She said I was 'part way through the tender process' and that she was judging me on my submission. I'd like to think there was irony involved, and I think at the time I may have given an admittedly weak "haha, yesssss, quite". Looking back, I'd have to conclude, computer says no on the presence of Fabulon or other aids to achieving crisply pressed linen."

Love Me Tender

Expression

The Katrina Monologues

““Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.”
”

— Margaret Millar

To get it out of the way - yes, my real name is Katrina. Feel free to use it.

Once.

And now, moving on:

One of the best things about writing a blog is very simple.

It's a chance to talk without anyone interrupting.

I know, I know - that's incredibly selfish. But when it comes down to it, the chance to have a captive audience is incredibly rare. So even if only one person reads said blog, as they are scanning my words on the page - or on the screen - it means that for a moment in time, someone is paying complete attention to what I have to say.

Fabulous!

I try very hard to listen to my friends, and make sure that what they are expressing is not going in one ear and out the other. What they are feeling is important. What they are saying should never be discounted; and let's face it, the art of active listening is rapidly losing traction in the Age of Apathy. But come on - who doesn't love the opportunity to express their opinions about life, the universe and everything without interruption?

It's also mentally a very soothing thing to do. It allows at least a part of your psyche to relax a little - well, that's what it does for me anyway. It means I can do a re-file of my thoughts and let some fresh air in, and usually gives me a little bit of clarity to start my day with.

I am immensely grateful for the ability to string words into some semblance of prose. To be able to speak to people in a way that resonates - not perhaps on a very grand level, but on a level that connects just the same.

And I am even more grateful that I get to do it without anyone interrupting me.

Because to enjoy one's own conversation may make us selfish - but it also makes us human.

And I defy anyone to say that they don't love the sound of their own voice...

Terms Of Endearment

““You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.””

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

I was writing an e-mail last night, and for some reason the way I had started it made me stop and think about the words we use when we are blathering on the page to our close friends and loved ones.

For example, I have a very bad habit of giving people strange nicknames, which they then for the life of them can't shake (enter the Panda and Dread P). Someone I think even described me as a 'nickname virus', which sounds vaguely unhealthy, but I hope was intended to say that when I give someone a nickname, that's it - they have no hope of ever getting rid of it.

Great. I am the equivalent of an STD for pseudonyms.

Hee hee.

Seriously though, the language of like and love is something that I feel very grateful for. I like expressing how I feel in words about those who matter to me. I like very much the fact that they express the way they feel in return - but I don't expect the return. For a reason.

It's as simple as writing to someone 'you are gorgeous', because they are. Using affectionate expressions is something many of us seem to be afraid of, because there is a chance we will be rebuffed in the return of call. But unless you express, you'll never know.

If you think someone looked beautiful, tell them. If someone made you happy, tell them that. If someone needs to know you care, for goodness' sake tell them. And don't go into it with expectation of acknowledgement, or because you think you should be saying something for the sake of it; if you do, then you are doing it for self gratification, not because you truly want to make someone happy.

I am massively grateful every time someone I love takes the time to write a word or two of sincere and expressive emotion. It's not gush or guff; it means they simply had to get onto the page - or the screen - that they were thinking of me at that moment in time.

Terms of endearment. They may not be conventional ones, like 'darling' or 'sweetheart'. They don't have to be between lovers. They are simply words that need to be put on a page because not to would be a disservice.

If anyone ever calls me 'nice' however...

That I would not be grateful for. And terms of abuse may become de rigueur instead...